Confidence *sigh*

I wish I had the confidence I have now.
When I was younger I was a really shy kid and I hated myself for it, even being around my over big family I was a very shy kid, sat at the back, didn't join in anything, didn't say anything unless it was to my sisters or parents.
I'm sure things would have changed dramatically if I had the confidence back then.
When I started primary school, reception, which was the first year of the school.
I was a very quiet kid, I never spoke to anyone and when I needed to speak to the teacher, I whispered in their ear. When you don't have the confidence, you didn't have many friends.
I could still remember myself by myself at lunch times walking around in circles, ugh I hate myself for not doing anything about it, yet its my parents fault too for not getting me involved in any outside of school activities.
I think I should mention that I did make friends eventually who were great and no I was never bullied.
It makes me miserable to think I didn't have confidence unlike all my cousins who had plenty, I had zilch. I hate myself for it.
Course now, I have more confidence than I have ever had before, not afraid to say anything anymore, that I'd have to thank my friends, if you can't be wild with your friends, who can you be wild with?
But not that much that I could do anything drastic, I know somewhere inside me is still that shy 6 year old.
Even though I'm too young to think about it but I did remember saying to myself 'When I have kids, I'll make sure they don't turn out shy like I was'

One of the key things in life is confidence, if you have that, you'll go far and I know it.