Racist..!

This is quite a touchy subject for me but yup, racism is the subject on this post. Shopping around town you know nothing new really, I saw something I liked and there were two girls next to me doing there own thing, not to interupt whatever they were doing I reached over to look at something but then put it back as it didn't look that nice after, I walked away and I heard one of the girls say something rude that pretty much describes me in my colour of skin. It wasn't any racist words but something that implied to be rude. Some of you may be thinking, big deal move on from it. But you see, I'm the type of person who can't just get over it the next second, I overanalyze the situation making it hard on myself. (I'm lame like that)
So, these types of people fall under that one category and living in England you tend to see a lot of them. They confirm the stereotype they have been known for and I honestly don't like these type of people because you know they will ALWAYS have something to say about your race when you walk past them on the streets.
Now I'm not sure that these people are of the same colour, and I'm not going to blame the whole country because of those people. I'm not saying I'm perfect either but it's just not right on anyone to hear hurtful things about you, I hate any type of bullying and those stereotypes only make it worse for themselves, gah why can't they be extinct.

Feeling awkward?

I don't know whats wrong with me (lol) but I hate it when i am (FORCED) made to wear cultural clothes. Not really something to blog about but its something on my mind.
When I was on holiday, obviously my cultural clothes were everywhere to be seen, people where them on the streets and my little cousin wears them most of the time.
To the point.
It was a cultural celebration and well.. we had to wear those clothes, when I was going out with my cousins, at bowling, and cinema.
YEAH!
Picture me with, Asian clothes and CLOWN SHOES! (I am referring to bowling shoes) its just not right.
By heart, I am the tomboy waiting to stay alive, and well it was a weird, awkward disaster.
Just saying.
Lame post, I know, sorry. :D

University applications are coming close to the deadline, wish/pray for/me good LUCK!!!!!!
(I need it)
:)

UNI this, UNI that

Uni = university
So this is my final year in college and I am extremely happy over this fact, I feel like I am ready for a change to happen in my life, but anything can happen between now an October which is just a few days away and our deadline for this university shin dig. It's one of those important moments in our lives that we want people everywhere to know about, I know I do because I will be the first person in my family to ever do so. Getting everything jam packed into a year will definitely be a hard task, but I know I try my best, who knows for all you British people out there who are planning on also going to university next year you will be lucky enough to be seeing me around town. Haha I'm kidding I aint nobody special. I have not really figured out which part of England I will be going to (any which will accept me really!) but I don't think it matters, just as long as it has my course, right?
Anyway whatever happens, I'll be sure to keep you posted. :)

MUSIC TIME! okay so I'm not overly obsessed with the Korean/Japanese music anymore but yes I do listen to it still. I listen to this song through an iPhone game.
Brett dennen - Heaven. it's different which I like but make sure if you listen to it that it doesn't include the girl in it.
Ciao for now!

Holiday!

Yes the holidays have arrived and while being in England enjoying what we call a moody weather was good, you know a little rain and a little sunshine but now I havn't seen a drop of rain since I have arrived. Except for a very sticky atmosphere with very hot air. 

Well I don't know what to say right now, its dead boring here and I'm just here to visit from family and friends here. But here is that awkward moment when you have a large number of family members houses to visit and you have to visit each one of them going from room to room (and its a big house) not looking forward to it.

Volunteering/Self-improvement?

So, if you are a few of those people who stick around reading my blog, thanks.

Actually I was going to say 'Then you must know what I have been struggling with'

Don't know? Don't remember?

Confidence, I know I haven't been blogging as much as I used to, but honestly I really don't have anything (interesting) to say!

I am not going to bore you by saying 'oh I suck' blah blah blah.

Actually I wanted to say that I am overcoming this shy-ness.

If any of you have the same problem as me, not being able to speak up in public or being to shy to speak to complete strangers than I give you word of advice.

Volunteering.

No kidding, don't start a job first, volunteer first, this gives you the most confidence that you can apply into later in a job. Especially if you are at a young age, it is the best thing that you could do.

For me going into a job first (I mentioned this like.. a year ago? Remember, NEXT?) I found to be really hard, I didn't have than self-confidence to make new friends properly or help people as much as I wanted. 

So what if you don't get paid to do it? It is your starting point. Take it. Apply!!

I volunteer as a receptionist, its very busy at the right time and you interact with people all the time, I love it as, I myself can see a big improvement in myself, so this is my word of advice. Good luck. (:

It shouldn't be the only reason to do it, I mean its great that I gain experiences and it's fun!

So tired of hearing...

"You can't do it".


Let’s just say I have had a major grilling today with some of those annoying teachers who don’t think you are capable of achieving anything.

Well technically It was my year head and YES I did get a major grilling.
How does threatening kids make us want to try harder? In fact, I just feel so lousy now that I am incapable of getting the right grades.
I notice that my way of working is becoming more and more, I won’t have any time to sleep at this point and they think its easy to get the grades.
So, this random lady who walks around the school (I have no idea what her job is) was sat there with another lady. Honest it felt like good cop bad cop.
One saying “Oh I know you tried your best” and the other “If you don’t get the grades your not coming back next year”
I was like

And she was like:
>:-D
(Sorry the photo evil witch face was not available. )

When you get put down like that, how are you suppose to arise from it?
I'll tell you how, SHOW THEM THAT YOU CAN DO IT!!
SHOW THEM THAT YOU ARE NOT THAT STUPID!
SHOW THEM THAT YOU CAN WORK HARD!

And that is what I will do, prove to this imbasiles that I can do it, I CAN DO ANYTHING.
YATAAAAH.

One Year Older..

Get out your candles and birthday hats, not forgetting to bring my birthday cake!
Yes, thats right, today I turn 18.
Its such an odd day to be born on though, isn't it?
March 4th.
When I was younger, I really hated birthdays, its one of those days where I thought it should be a really special day, just like in the movies but actually never was that great.
I normally had school on those days, and today is no exception.
I don't have parties and I don't receive presents.
Just kidding, I do :P But I hate having parties!!!! Ugh my face boils up like a tomato from the embarrassment. This year I am asking for no presents but a car. >:)
Hey, I can be greedy on my birthday, right?!
Did you know, your birthday is a day where people think its acceptable to beat you up?!?! (birthday beats)
Well, it is just the start to my day so I should really see what is going to hit me today, wish me luck!
SING ALONG WITH ME!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME-E
HA--A-A-A-A-PY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Well, change to me to you so your singing it to me. xD
Peace.

Ever made a difficult decision.

One point you really start to think about your future, right?
It was my last of school for the holidays and I was just laying in bed at 1am thinking about my university situation and what not.
You know what I thought?
I am really sick of where I am living right now! That's right! I really hate living in England! I have been here forever and to go through another 5+ years here is just way too much!!!
I don't want to anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being born in an Asian family, you have to and I mean absolute have you follow the rules.
You can probably picture my dad, the Taxi driving, angry looking man. But he actually is not that angry looking but he always manages to have my friends say "Your dad scares me".
So as I was saying.
I have those ambitions to travel the world, I know I am not the only one and I thrive for that to happen. Normally when I want something I end up getting it, but not in a spoilt way. When I was young I wanted this mp3 player, everyday I would stare at the argos book until I got it.
I keep going off topic!
I want to study abroad, with the expenses of university (cheers for that, David..) I don't think medical uni's are cheap anyway.
Ah, god help me.
Has anybody ever done something like that?
Traveled to a different country, your family thinking your mad and can't live without them? For a whole year?

Wow am I unhealthy..

So I had my yearly check up at the doctors, no biggie, I was actually told that 1 in a 100 babies get this condition.. wow I feel so special.
Saying the world 'condition' makes it sound 100 times worse so I'll just tell you that its a heart condition, again no biggie.
First time at the 'adult clinic' ah it was horrible.
It was a new building filled with young nurses and doctors. 
I of course had to go with my MUMMY!!! And well we didn't know where it was so we asked a receptionist who told us the instructions like we were retarded.
I didn't know what to expect, last year I was the oldest person at the children's hospital and now I'm the youngest! It was weird.
Want to know what I did, I'll tell you this headache of a story.
I got signed in at reception and sat down in the waiting room.
After 10 minutes I got called by this young nurse who checked my height, weight ect. 
And then sat back down in the waiting room.
A different young lady called me to monitor my heart or something.
And then I sat back down in the waiting room.
My Doctor of MANY MANY YEARS (basically my whole life and wouldn't let me forget it) called me in to also monitor my heart with that stethoscope thingy.
And then I sat back down in the waiting room.
I then got called my another young dude this time who had to do an ECG on me (Uh if you don't know what it is, your lucky!! Joke, its not that weird, its just like looking at a baby on your belly.. i think? Not that I know, the movies you see)
After that, I sat back down in the waiting room.
My Doctor wanted to see me.. again!
Then I sat back down in the waiting room.
This older lady took me into her room to discuss my condition in more depth and gave me a hell a lot of leaflets and said I had to know all this for homework which is weird because I had YEARLY checkups and I am not going to remember all that. Anyway, she started talking about babies and what not. Barf. The title of this blog has nothing do with was I was talking about.. sorry! Basically one of the leaflets say what I should eat and what not to eat.. and lets just say it was not looking pretty.
And then I... WENT HOME HURRARRY!
It was a long process. 
Of course I appreciate what they do. 
Ooo I got an interview as voluntary work there sooo wish me luck! 
Peace! 

Little bit of this and that.

For psychology we were talking about stress and what impacts stress so we had to take this life score thing.
So everything that had happened to us we had to circle and that would give us a score.
The score would be.
0-100 normal
100-150 minimal risk of illness
and 300 or up, risk of illness
Something like that, I can't remember what it was exactly.
Worryingly, I received 328.
I was like WHAT.
My friend only got like 150 something like that and I got twice as much as her!
Holy crap. I'm insane then right?
All these insane moments in my life is what makes me me today. And No, I don't like it.
One silly lesson and I'm getting worked up about it though so.. yeah. Maybe I'm not insane, YEAH RIGHT.
I skipped school today. Does that make me a rebel? Or just stupid? I think stupid.
I'm sorry I'm typing weirdly, I just had a bag of skittles and I tend to get really hyper afterwards.
Ok seriously now.

Something I read, something quite obvious but I read it via twitter and I thought 'yeah, I should'
'Never be afraid to speak'
Your thinking what? That's lame.
But to me its not, everyday I struggle with confidence and I realise I have just as much right to talk than anybody else and I should not be afraid to open my mouth to say something.
Well it is still a work in progress.

There once was a girl..

She was a quiet girl getting through her final days of secondary school in the old building (the new building was being built at the time).
She had just come from lunch which was her favourite subject. Duh. 
So she had adrenaline pumping through her veins ready and pumped for English with her friends and they have a lot of fun in that lesson because the teacher was a really bad one so they didn't learn much.
The whole class was pretty much talking not really paying any attention to what we were suppose to be learning.
Across the classroom were the 'popular's?' well I would call them the loud mouths but you get some sort of idea what they were like right?
The quiet girl would just laugh away at convocations being made between her friends.
The loud mouths asked a question which was not directly asked to the quiet girl but to the group she was in, so one of the guys in the group answered.
The mistake happened then.
(Looking back on it it was a very weird moment)
She opened her mouth and joined in the convocation.
The whole class went quiet. Seriously.
One of the loud mouths were actually drinking at the time and nearly chocked on her drink. And you know what they said?
"She speaks!"
The girl went red in the face, that burning hot sensation spreading through her face,  felt like a frog was in her throat. 
Everything after that was a blur.
Because I fainted.
Yeah, the quiet girl was me.
But no I didn't faint, that was a joke. (In my defence it felt like I just died inside) Loti. 


It was a horrible and true story.
You're probably thinking, what the hell? But at the time it was probably the most embarrassing moment for me. Lame, I know.


(Listening to knock out by GD&TOP listen to it if you want to laugh, aw got to love them - Korean btw.)

It's that time of year again..

Yes, people its here again.
This time last year I was proper stressing about exams.
Yes EXAAAMS.
Technically I was stressed in June/July but this is important too!
I have an psychology exam tomorrow, there are so many things to remember, its like taking History, Maths and Science all in one! Its hard work!
Sometimes I would like to kick myself in the face because I have done barely any studying. And look! Here I am blogging when I am suppose to be revising.
Kick myself in the face again please!
Okay I should really be going.
Peace!