There once was a girl..

She was a quiet girl getting through her final days of secondary school in the old building (the new building was being built at the time).
She had just come from lunch which was her favourite subject. Duh. 
So she had adrenaline pumping through her veins ready and pumped for English with her friends and they have a lot of fun in that lesson because the teacher was a really bad one so they didn't learn much.
The whole class was pretty much talking not really paying any attention to what we were suppose to be learning.
Across the classroom were the 'popular's?' well I would call them the loud mouths but you get some sort of idea what they were like right?
The quiet girl would just laugh away at convocations being made between her friends.
The loud mouths asked a question which was not directly asked to the quiet girl but to the group she was in, so one of the guys in the group answered.
The mistake happened then.
(Looking back on it it was a very weird moment)
She opened her mouth and joined in the convocation.
The whole class went quiet. Seriously.
One of the loud mouths were actually drinking at the time and nearly chocked on her drink. And you know what they said?
"She speaks!"
The girl went red in the face, that burning hot sensation spreading through her face,  felt like a frog was in her throat. 
Everything after that was a blur.
Because I fainted.
Yeah, the quiet girl was me.
But no I didn't faint, that was a joke. (In my defence it felt like I just died inside) Loti. 


It was a horrible and true story.
You're probably thinking, what the hell? But at the time it was probably the most embarrassing moment for me. Lame, I know.


(Listening to knock out by GD&TOP listen to it if you want to laugh, aw got to love them - Korean btw.)

It's that time of year again..

Yes, people its here again.
This time last year I was proper stressing about exams.
Yes EXAAAMS.
Technically I was stressed in June/July but this is important too!
I have an psychology exam tomorrow, there are so many things to remember, its like taking History, Maths and Science all in one! Its hard work!
Sometimes I would like to kick myself in the face because I have done barely any studying. And look! Here I am blogging when I am suppose to be revising.
Kick myself in the face again please!
Okay I should really be going.
Peace!

So long 2010! HELLO 2011!

No doubt I am excited for a new year, its what I see as a fresh start or something. There is so much I want to accomplish by the end of next year into 2012... gulp. o.o
Finding a job, getting a drivers license, get voluntary work, apply for university and most importantly enjoy my summer. (;
Has anybody got any new years resolutions?
I don't really see the point of keeping one, most people don't really keep them anyway! My dad is an avid smoker and he manages to always keep a new years resolution... well he says 'I will stop smoking' but uh. That never happens. Even so we still make them.
I still remember myself in the year 1999 even though I was like 5/6 years old and it was the big millennium there was a small TV in the corner of the room, it wasn't really small, just small and I had a bugs bunny note pad in my hand, my sister had a tweety bird note pad. I seriously thought the world was going to end there and then when the clock struck 12. I closed my eyes and everything, it was pretty massive. Now when it hits 12 it won't be as exciting as it used to be. :(
Anyway, I hope you do have an awesome new years party or whatever and try not to drink so much. o.O
I don't know. xD

Journey to nowhere?

You know your weird when you get off the bus and then travel in the wrong direction to your destination.

Cycle Path From 1 City to Another

In actual fact I just didn't want to go home just yet so I decided to go for a walk and had no idea where I was going, I know what your thinking, that's dangerous and she is weird. Well yeah, looking back on it, I was acting a little pretty cooky. Even more cooky because it was  -3 degrees outside but did you know walking does kind of warms you up inside.. some how.
So, I got off the bus and the first place I went to was the cycle path, its pretty long and it goes from one city to another which is like 13 miles? I didn't walk the whole path though, that would of been pretty weird of me and I would of been to lazy to do so. It was just this long path for bikes and people I guess, it was strange walking down because... it was pretty quiet and well there were so many paths to take I didn't know whether I should of carried on walking straight or go to a turn of leading you to a road but.. I kept on walking.

As I kept on walking I saw a squirrel. Yes a grey one.
Anyway, I kept on walking and it was really quiet, only one cyclist went by every few minutes from a distance I thought I saw a man but then the man lifted its hat off and out came a lock of hair, I thought oh okay its not a man its a woman so yeah, (bearing in mind I had not much to look at so I kept focus of this person) as the woman got closer, I was mistaken again, it was in fact a man with dreadlocks. Whoops.
I didn't really want to keep on going straight so I decided to get off this turn off this picture here. It looked like a wheelchair access type of thing but obviously since this was a cycle path.. this exit was for cyclists too. So I walked down it, I had no idea to where it lead to, but as I got off it, it was all clear to me.

It is in fact a graveyard, I knew exactly where I was because I had relatives who lived exactly opposite to this one and growing up I had to always walk past it to reach their house, I never slept round their house. This one was pretty massive I would read the names on the stones and there are some old ones.




While I was still walking on the cycle path there was this old building called Elizabeth Shaw, If I'm not mistaken, this building is where they made chocolate, I know this because my mum used to work here when it was open and she would tell us that it was.. haunted. o.O
I don't know if that's true but that place looks well scary now, broken glass everywhere.

 Yeah, so there still is snow everywhere!!! Its really annoying but.. what can you do ey?
(Yeah.. I don't know what to write for this) This is where my journey ended.

This.. well I was actually in the car when I took this but if you look real close in the distance you will see this yellow building.
I have no idea where it come from but I know some people who would call it 'Mad house' I don't know why but I see this everything I am on the motorway which is like 5 times a year.. yeah we have a lot of relatives, that's the price of being an Asian I guess. ;) So when I come back from a long trip from Heathrow Airport, which is an amazing airport I see this mad house and think. I'm almost home! If you have figured out where I live please don't stalk me. ;]

I love the motorway, looks so nice.

Woop Woop!!!! Party!!

Yes, its been a year already and I hope there are more years to come, the joy I have of blogging.
Happy anniversary I guess, to myself and this blog.
I have no idea why I'm writing so formally.
TTYL!!

(The next blog should be interesting and yes, finally! I will have pictures)

Just too much...

Obviously, the choices we make will define us for the rest of our lives, my early stages of life were pretty.. weird well you know, like any child who cared much for school? or about what we wore to school. Well actually I was really fanatic about my hair in those days which is pretty weird considering I was pretty much a tomboy then. Yeah, I hated dresses and looking 'dolled up' and wore hoodies and sporty things like Kappa. I keep saying and thinking how much I really miss my childhood and how hard I have to work these days to do well. Its horrible since I don't have an older sibling I could really look up to... well actually that's a lie.
I have a... almost 20 year old sister and I wouldn't really call her a role model so its just me.


My cousin, every time me and her see each other have this saying 'Middle children are adopted' its just a figure of speech, I'm not actually adopted... and I think I'm pretty sure of that! But yeah its just how we are I guess, first borns have a more special place in their parents hearts and the youngest, last borns are.. obvious the baby of the family. I always see this in my mind and I don't know why, I shouldn't really though, so as I am the middle child I am more... mature (sumujdhar as my dad would say, in his language) I just feel that is a big responsibility for me. my older sister is sort of just wandering around places with no future for her career wise so my parents don't do anything about it.


So why has it always got to be me?
Seriously? I don't want this anymore.
I wish I could have a long holiday and not come back to this.
I don't know exactly what I'm trying to run away from but its just too much for me to carry.
Give it to someone else! PLEASE.

Hold onto them... and never let go..

Growing up I have come to realised that the people who you meet in primary school, your first school in which you make your first friends and maybe even best friends, going around their houses, its kind of like having a second family, someone you can always turn to. You love seeing them in school everyday and get worried when they don't come in. Loved going to school knowing you had such great friends by your side.

For me, I had two best friends when I was in primary school, we used to have so much fun together and they were the same religion as me so it made me feel in more comfortable being around them. In school, whenever our teacher wasn't in school and we had a substitute, we were always separated because we wouldn't shut up in class, there would always be a kid in our class that said 'They are not suppose to sit together!' I even remember buying a three part 'best friend' necklace.

It may sound sort of corny but I really miss those simpler days, where studying was not the biggest worry in my life, all this responsibility was not important and making friends wasn't as hard as it is now.

While my friend was acting all goofy, stealing my bag because she didn't want me to leave her I even somehow said 'Stop acting so immature' or something along those lines, this happened today. 

So, me and my 'old' best friends are all grown up now, when we were 12 we went our separate ways to secondary school, and I hardly saw them after that. At first we would write letters to one another (that how long ago it was we wrote letters :P no Facebook or mobile phones to text) only last week I wanted to see her again so I said why don't we meet up, baring in mind I'm always the one who has to say 'oh what time? and when?' and she never bothers to reply back.

So I say, why bother? When she doesn't even bother considering answering my bloody texts?? Still, I want to stick onto our friendship because she was the reason why I enjoyed my primary school days and that would be a waste of my years of friendship and I really miss her.

Well... I did mention I had TWO best friends this was just one of them, the other one I was... much close to should I say. But then when we went to secondary school, everything changed between us, she was the one I sent the letters to and she changed, one of the worse things you could imagine when it came to your best friend, this was not the best friend you once knew, she was all about boys and I wasn't, I was still about friends, of course they were all different and secondary school, there was only 2 people who were the same religion as me and one of them was me! The other was a boy... my... um... old... crush. BARF!!!

Anyway.. a little argument broke our friendship, I was devestated, a little discussion that she took the wrong way ruined it all, of course after a year or two we became friends again, course she was the one who spoke to me first ;). but it will never be the same.

Now, I have a friend who has become really close to me, she calls me her best friend, and although I see her as one I don't completely feel the same way because to me I still remember my old best friends who I barely ever see. And I know, in a year or two she will disappear as well. 

I will still stick to my old friends as much as I can, I just hope they do the same.

IMissYouB&R<3

OH! I hope my blogs aren't too long :P 

Still alive baby! Woooooo!

My driving instructor, that's right! I'm learning to drive people!!
Any way my driving instructor said that driving a car was like riding a bike.
Let's take a look at the facts shall we?
Does a car have pedals?
Does a car have handle bars?
Does a car have 2 wheels?
Does a car have bike chains?
With a first few experiences riding a car no way did it feel like riding a bike. Zilch.
Anyway that doesn't really matter, I just thought I'd put that in there.
SO! Driving a car was really interesting, I did mention in my other posts that I was pretty small - please don't have a freakishly short person in your head I'm 5 foot something - yeah so the car was pretty small but somehow I managed to be smaller. I don't even know how that is even possible it felt like I should of taken a pillow to sit on in the car, I could see fine but let's just say I still had the sun in my eyes even when I used the sun protecter thingy know what I'm saying? (no..?)
worse enough I saw my dad staring at me through the window and when I told him it put me off he said it shouldn't and that we wanted to see me drive and tell everyone. (aw)
It was still pretty funny aspecially when other drivers over take me and my instructor starts swearing at them using a colour range of words.
I think I did pretty well seeing as I am still alive as I drove for an hour. GOO ME!

I can't get this thought out of my head!!!!!!

I have these sudden thoughts about... death. Technically life after death, you hear so many stories from different religions you don't know what to believe any more.
I know I am suppose to believe in judgement day and how God is going to judge us on how we used our life, or something along those lines. Now that scares me.
I keep wondering if I will live another life or if I live the same life.. just dead. Or if we just don't live at all, kind of like how we sleep practically making us dead?
Arg these stupid thoughts are driving me mad. I know I should not be thinking about things like this, I'm only 17 for crying out loud and I have these obnoxious thoughts!
I keep saying I don't believe in ghosts, and we aren't suppose to. Still one night, when I was pretty young, not really young to be having imaginary friends but... 11? or 12... something like that.
I was trying to sleep when I heard this really creepy sound, a ghost sound, like a proper ghost sound. Like you would hear in movies, and I was sure nobody was playing a movie up stairs since we don't have a TV. This was late at night. Those memories that can never be erased.
My cousins live in front of a graveyard. Creepy or what.
Now younger kids are even freakier, I don't mean 10 or 11 years of age, I mean 2 - 6 years of age.
I have a lot of baby cousins and its like they have ways of communicating with the dead. Well sort of.
I had uncle, who passed away years ago, my baby cousin who is.. 2? I believe said she saw him... now why would a 2 year old lie about something like that?
Another cousin who was 5 years old at the time was sat down at the bottom of the stairs, in the dark with one creepy  light on, this was at night and in a big house, he was staring at something and talking... it was me who had to tell him to get his butt up the stairs to go to sleep... I had to go back down the stairs. Creepy.


Imagine your home alone.  And its so quiet that you tend to listen to every movement in the house. You keep looking over your shoulder for any movement...
Stop.
Don't.
Keep telling yourself  "Its nothing" and blast on some music so it doesn't seem as quiet.


On the brighter side of things, ITS HALF TERM!! A WHOLE WEEK OFF! WOOO I CAN SLEEP BECAUSE I HAVE NO JOB! BECAUSE IM CRAP AT INTERVEIWS.
Okay peace, I hope your not as scared as I am and if you are.. sorry. :) 

Well this is England for ya!

For all of you that know England is one of those messed up countries that can't make up their bloody mind!
That's not very nice! :OO
I was talking about the weather.
Recently... um its just turned... spring? No.. Autumn. Yeah, Autumn.
I just looked out my window and somehow the green leaves have turned into this very extravagant red colour - VERY PWEEETY.
The recent change in weather means a change in me, well actually the change in weather is making me ill, probably just a cold, SO DON'T PANIC! (Pssht, like it matters..)
I thought autumn is just like winter except where everything green just falls of its branches? I feel like an idiot not knowing but I don't keep up with the four... times of the year. :S I'll just be like 'Oh yeah its summer' Or 'Oh crap its winter... agian!'
I bet thats what it like in the countries that never have a change in weather!
Isn't America (amreeka!!) like that?
See, over by where I live, we get at least 1 week of just pure sunshine and then we never see the sun again. Sure then we would say oh I wish it was cold, but actually its true, when your here, you wish it was never that hot all the time, it wouldn't really be England without it in my opinion. Right now you see the bright sun hanging over our heads but.. WHY IS IT SO COLD OUTSIDE!!!
Makes no sense to me, the sun is out but the... hotness isn't!!!
Does the weather effect our moods?
Lets see.
 Recently I went on holiday to where my family live where the sun is out 24/7
One day, while the sun was still out... it started to... rain.
Now, while it was very sunny over there, people were depressed, never leaving the house and finding ways to cool themselves down, over there A/C (air conditioning) is a must, they probably wouldn't survive without it. Okay so they have fans over there too!
But as water droplets starting falling from the sky, aka rain, everyone was very happy, they would stand outside taking in all in, I was actually surprised,
"Hey, shouldn't you stay inside because its raining?"
"No! its magical!"
Lol. Magical.
I would hate for them to see snow, they might get too overexcited and collapse!
Even my parents thought they should try it out, going outside in the rain, its basically what we do over in England almost every week but the difference over there is that they don't wear coats! :O
I just stood by the door, watching them with fascination, but sadly, the rain started to slow down and then stop.
"Wow that was greeat!!" See, these people get very excited about the weirdest things, but that's family for you and I wouldn't change them in any way.
Maybe just one.
(Sorry cuz!)